When you said “I do,” you didn’t plan on a future without your spouse. Over time, though, people change, and circumstances affect marriages. Financial or medical hardships can significantly impact a union. Saying goodbye and starting again may become the better choice, allowing you to move on and find yourself again after a devastating divorce.
Without a doubt, the breakup is hard. You’ve spent years together making decisions. Despite the difficulties, you can feel good again. Try the following tips to feel better and find your independence.
How to Find Yourself After a Devastating Divorce
1. Get Your Own Place
Sharing the property may leave you feeling stifled, or it could drag up unpleasant memories. It’s a constant reminder of the years that didn’t work. Consider investing in a place that feels more like you. This home is based on a fresh beginning, allowing you to make new memories and have a good life. Do some research and learn how much you would need to put down to get a place you enjoy. Stick to a reasonable budget that suits your monthly income.
2. Talk with Someone
Divorce is a long-term emotional situation. It’s important to express how you feel in a safe environment with others who understand your situation and can offer sympathy and support. You may have friends who stick by your side, but you may feel better speaking with a professional or a support group. Therapists can help you work through anxiety or depression. Support groups allow you to share stories and hear that others are in the same boat. Don’t feel isolated. You’re not alone in this.
3. Make Time for You
Did you lose sight of who you are and what you love? Marriage asks people to work together, and that often means giving up some things that brought you joy in the past. Did you enjoy book clubs or running? Do you miss taking dance classes or hitting the beach? Make a list of personal hobbies or places you sacrificed. Eat the meals you love, get out with your close friends, and take care of yourself. Discover yourself again and build enthusiasm for life.
4. Focus on a Growth Mindset
You may be living in a very negative space right now. That mentality can keep you from moving forward and finding hope for something better. Instead, read more about growth mindset. This philosophy focuses on looking at the difficulties you’ve experienced as learning points for the future. Acknowledge that you deserve better and can do better in life. Think about what went wrong and what you could do to have a healthier relationship later. Pick up a gratitude journal. Write in it daily, finding little things to be happy about. Work on yourself as well.
Final Thoughts
Going through a devastating divorce is hard. As you find your new path, take time for yourself. Seek out people to support you, talk about the past with professionals or support groups, and find things that bring you happiness. The path forward is there. You just have to take the first step.
If you are navigating the legal side of divorce in Massachusetts, Attorney Stephanie Fitzgerald is here to help. Call (413) 526-7933 to schedule a consultation.