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Life After Divorce

The First 6 Steps to Take After Your Divorce

Take the time to get to know yourself and what you like. You may find new passions or some great new friends along the way.

Steps to Take After Your Divorce: Black woman climbing steps

Do you know what steps to take after your divorce? Going through a divorce can be a very stressful, expensive, and time-consuming event. Regardless of how the relationship ended, there are things that need to be taken care of on your end. You went from sharing everything with someone, to total independence. This shift is a very overwhelming thing, but here are the first six steps to take after your divorce.

6 Steps to Take After Your Divorce

1. Establish Cloud Security

You may be thinking: what is cloud security, and why do I need it?  Cloud security is a way to protect your data and passwords from theft and keep them private. Up until this point, you may have been sharing all of your passwords and account info with your ex-spouse. It is important that you take the necessary measures to protect all of your account info and passwords, especially if your marriage ended on bad terms. It is important to protect your data from your ex, as well as from the public. Account hacking is at an all-time high, so adding cloud security to your online data is always a great option.

2. Decide if You Want to Change Your Last Name

Not all people change their last name when they get married, but if you did, then this is something you need to decide now. There are many things that you should ask yourself when deciding to change your last name after a divorce, including:

  • Are you okay with your kids having a different last name?
  • Does your current last name have any professional ties?
  • Are you prepared for the formalities of a name change?

These are all important things to consider when changing your last name. If you plan to marry again then it may be worthwhile to wait until you get remarried to change your last name. If you want your kids to have your last name, then you may also want to keep your last name, at least until they grow older or marry. Lastly, if your professional profile is tied to your current name, it may be more beneficial for you to keep the name. Take some time to reflect on how your last name is tied to your identity.  These are all things that you should consider when making this decision, but ultimately the choice is yours and should be based on your own feelings.

3. Notify Everyone You Know

There is a time during a divorce that you may want to keep things private, but after the divorce is settled, you will want to update all of the people in your life. It is embarrassing to receive yearly Christmas cards that are still addressed to you and your ex-partner. In the initial stages of the divorce, be sure to reach out to family and friends for their support. Divorces aren’t an easy time in someone’s life, and you need to take care of yourself.

4. Embrace Your Independence

Some people marry at a young age and grow up with their spouse. If you did not have time to establish your sense of self before the marriage, take the time to do so now. Work on yourself, learn new skills, and focus on your passions. This is your time to really get to know yourself, what you like, and what you want in life. If you just left a very toxic situation, spend time working on your physical and mental health. Don’t be afraid to reach out to a licensed mental health professional if you need help on a deeper level. Take charge of your life and embrace your new independence.

5. Enter the Dating Scene

This may not be a great next step for you, and that’s okay. If you are struggling with loneliness or simply want to try out the dating scene, go for it. Now is the time to try all of the things that you felt that you weren’t able to do during your marriage. It is now easier than ever to find a date on an app and meet up the same night. Create a dating profile, swipe a bit, and meet some new people.

6. Introspect and Reflect

The worst thing that you can do after a major life event is bottle up your emotions. Spend time reflecting on all that you feel, so that you do not keep it repressed inside of you. Introspect and learn about yourself and what you want in life. Take some time to really get to know who you are without the other person. You can even reflect on which relationships and friendships are no longer good for you moving forward. Spend some time with your mind. Going through a divorce can be a very emotional and mentally draining life event. There are a lot of legal fees and papers to sign, but after the divorce is settled, you are free to do whatever you want. By following these steps to take after your divorce, you can give yourself the time you need to heal. Take the time to get to know yourself and what you like. You may find new passions or some great new friends along the way.